2019-12-10:
The Chaos

The Chaos is a poem by the Dutch writer Gerald Nolst Trenité. Published in 1920, it demonstrates several hundred examples of irregular spelling in the English language.

The opening lines are:

Dearest creature in Creation,
Studying English pronunciation,

I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

It will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;

Tear in eye your dress you'll tear.
So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer

. . .

And the closing lines are:

Finally: which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, cough, hough, or tough?

Hiccough has the sound of cup......
My advice is—give it up!

You can read the full text here. And here's an audio recording of it being read in British English! :D